Do you over-apologize?
Today's message is for the over-apologizers — the ones who say “sorry” when they didn’t do anything wrong.
Sound familiar?
“Oops, sorry!” (when someone else bumps into you)
“Sorry to bother you…” (before asking a reasonable question)
“Sorry this is taking so long…” (during a meeting they’re paying you for)
I used to be deep in the habit myself.
If someone knocked into me, I’d apologize. If I bumped into a chair? Yep — “Sorry!” (I wish I were kidding.)
My default setting was constant apology — because I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone, ever. I thought I was being polite.
But here’s the twist: over-apologizing actually irritated the people around me.
I was trying to smooth things over. But what they experienced was someone who lacked confidence, took up too little space, and kept apologizing for simply existing.
Once I got that feedback, I started making small shifts. And I’ve learned something important:
A well-placed, genuine apology means so much more than a dozen automatic ones.
Now I check in with myself. Do I really need to apologize — or is there a better way to express respect or gratitude?
More often than not, “Thank you” is what I really mean.
Instead of: “Sorry I’m late” → “Thanks for waiting.”
Instead of: “Sorry for the long email” → “Thanks for taking the time to read this.”
Instead of: “Sorry to ask” → “Thanks for your help.”
Try this today:
Notice how often “sorry” pops out without you thinking.
Ask yourself: Is an apology actually needed here — or is there something more honest and empowering to say?
You don’t need to apologize for taking up space. Not here. Not anywhere.
You’re allowed to ask questions. To make mistakes. To speak up.
Let your apologies mean something. The rest? Let it go.
