The help I didn't ask for (but needed)

When my mom was in the early stages of dementia, she had cataract surgery on both eyes.

I remember sitting there thinking… how am I going to manage giving her eye drops four times a day after surgery?
She was living in a senior community about 15 minutes away, and it felt like just one more thing to figure out.

I don’t have family nearby here in Florida, but I do have a close family friend who knew and loved my mom. I mentioned the upcoming surgery to her .... not to ask for help, but more in a “here’s my latest caregiver challenge” kind of way. 

And then something unexpected happened.

She offered to stop by on her way home from work to give my mom her eye drops once a day.

As it turns out, she worked nearby and said it truly wouldn’t be a burden at all.

I remember the feeling… that deep exhale of relief and gratitude as I said yes.

But what stayed with me even more was what she shared later,
that helping my mom actually lifted her spirits. She genuinely enjoyed being able to do something kind and meaningful.

It reminded me of something I think we forget so easily:

A small act of help for someone else can be a huge gift for a caregiver. 

At the same time, it can be a gift for the person offering it too.

Support doesn't always come from asking, sometimes it begins by sharing what you're going through in life.

Sometimes we think we’re “burdening” others when we let them in.

But often, we’re actually giving them an opportunity to show up in a way that feels good to them.

My hope for you is this-
that asking for & receiving help can slowly become a more natural way of being. Not something you have to push yourself into, but something that gently lightens your load over time.

With gratitude and grace,

Susan

P.S. If this is something you've been carrying on your own, you don't have to figure it out alone. I'd be honored to support you.